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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28345356">EASY REVENGE</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/miehczyslaw/pseuds/miehczyslaw'>miehczyslaw</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chainsaw Man (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Introspection, Manga Spoilers, Missing Scene, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Shippy Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:09:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,150</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28345356</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/miehczyslaw/pseuds/miehczyslaw</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In one moment Himeno’s smile is not there, and the next it is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hayakawa Aki/Himeno</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>EASY REVENGE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakurapanchi/gifts">sakurapanchi</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>(She says, “Don’t die, Aki.”</p><p>And yet her absence is an open wound, half-infected already.)</p><p>X</p><p>He knows her small and full of bitterness, a flower that grew in carnage’s land with no other option but to tear off her petals in resignation, camouflaging herself as poison ivy to try to escape the field mice, albeit uselessly, in the end.</p><p>Aki has too long arms and too long legs and very big blue eyes then, without toxic waste. But he is only moved by resentment— resentment, and Makima’s smile, a bit too big, <em>maybe lying</em>— “I’ll give you the power to avenge your family if you make me your owner,”— so Aki might as well be cut open in half like Himeno despite the years and sorrows that separate them, the difference between one abyss and another.</p><p>(She hasn’t smiled at him once since they were introduced. He hasn’t smiled at her either. It <em>unnerves</em> him, honestly. That quiet cynicism of hers so different from his but nonetheless cynical.)</p><p>Himeno walks among the graves every day, humming the theme of a sake commercial, and it’s almost as if she’s practicing becoming a ghost to accompany the rest eventually, as if she’s already getting used to the idea of being a corpse.</p><p>Her movements fluid, not awkward, almost memorized.</p><p>Aki wonders if Himeno <em>really wants</em> to continue fighting. Aki wonders a lot of things.</p><p>(where is the Gun Devil, how many lives will it take him to lose before murdering it— because he will murder it, that’s a certainty— how much time will he waste accompanying Himeno to the cemetery, if Makima has a boyfriend...)</p><p>Himeno is never irreverent in front of the tombstones, however.</p><p>She brings bouquets of flowers only for five of them but pays her respects in front of the rest too— still humming, still not smiling.</p><p>“My partners, and the partners of my partners, may have been garbage in life,” she explains, his mind a book that he forgot to close and that Himeno has taken a look at without his permission. Aki’s mouth twists at being so easy to read and tries not to show that it affects him. “But that doesn’t mean they weren’t worthy of respect, you know?”</p><p>Aki doesn’t know.</p><p>He thinks of the number six.</p><p>He thinks of bullets and snow, bullets and snow everywhere.</p><p>“The dead don’t care how you treat them,” he replies on impulse, before he even realizes it. And he sounds rude but he doesn’t take it back or regret it, not really. Because Himeno is not Makima and Aki only respects Makima. Because Aki <em>doesn’t understand Himeno</em> and now he remains an orphan and only child and rage is something that Aki has not yet learned how to tame, that it will take a long time to control with a leash and a muzzle. He’s also <em>right</em>. “The dead don’t care about what we the living do,” he adds without hesitation.</p><p><em>If not... if not maybe they would come back for us, and no one would be alone in the world</em>.</p><p>She turns to him, studying him carefully. Himeno looks like a crow all of a sudden, not a ghost. It almost makes him want to back down what he said, as long as she stops looking at him.</p><p>Himeno is too quiet, too hollow. Aki would fill her with a little of his anger, if he were capable of it.</p><p>“No. I suppose not,” Himeno agrees, after a brief pause. It doesn’t take long for her to move foward. Himeno is always moving foward. “But even garbage has its own value. It’s just…” She stops. “It’s just that there is no use for garbage in a slaughterhouse.”</p><p>Aki allows himself to notice for the first time her bandages and dried blood and antiseptic perfume. He forces himself to ignore the naked shell of her throat, too. He curses himself for that.</p><p>“So you think I’m trash? That’s it? You think I’m trash and you’ll remember me with respect and cry in front of my grave anyway?”</p><p>Himeno does’t hesitate to answer.</p><p>“Not at all.”</p><p>And he blinks.</p><p>There is smoke caressing Himeno’s cheeks.</p><p>She takes a cigarette between her slender, finite fingers with enviable practice before putting it in her mouth.</p><p><em>She still doesn’t smile</em>.</p><p>(Aki suddenly thinks that Himeno is a girl of glass— empty except when she inhales smoke and drinks honeyed beer.)</p><p>“Don’t get me wrong. I like you a lot.”</p><p>“But you will not cry in front of my grave.”</p><p>Himeno takes another drag on her cigarrette. Her tie firmly tied. And her throat still in view.</p><p>Aki swallows, hard.</p><p>“But I won’t cry in front of your grave, exactly. It’s nothing personal,” more tombstones stretch out on the horizon, like stale cigarettes, useless without nicotine. Perhaps Himeno has already shed all the tears of which she was capable. Perhaps the number six is the lucky one and there’s no need for a seven.</p><p>He has no reason to feel offended or hurt but. But.</p><p>(<em>Don’t die, Aki</em>.)</p><p>“With how much you smoke I’m not surprised you’re going to die first,” Aki says, though without malice. “I’ll be sure to pay respects to your grave, then.” Himeno doesn’t even flinch, though her single eye glows like ripe fruit begging to be eaten before it rots.</p><p>Then she has her back to him.</p><p>“Oh, the boy has sense of humor! What a surprise. That’s fine. I have it as well.” And her voice is suddenly soft. Softer than Aki could imagine coming from someone like her. Aki wants to see her face all of a sudden. “I have a feeling that you will be a great partner. You’re definitely going to live, eh Aki!”</p><p>It takes Aki a couple of minutes to recognize it, but in that moment Himeno’s voice is soft as snow (without bullets). And Aki hasn’t remembered Makima all afternoon.</p><p>“You can’t decide that on your own,” he says, dryly.</p><p>But Himeno ignores him and spins and goes towards him. She blows all the smoke out in front of his face, and Aki coughs.</p><p>His lips desperate to breathe, to taste a little more of her.</p><p>“No, I know it. I’m sure of it.”</p><p><em>Because you’re not trash, Aki. You’re fire</em>.</p><p>“You are going to consume me before anyone else consumes you.”</p><p><em>You better survive, for both of us</em>.</p><p>Himeno, it turns out, is grotesquely beautiful. Aki notices it until now.</p><p>Around them more graves, more bullets, always more bullets, the screech of a mouse— and his first kiss flavored with antiseptic and smoke.</p><p>Mouths that do not touch. That do not touch at all.</p><p>“Okay,” he answers, suddenly weak. “Okay.”</p><p>(In one moment Himeno’s smile is not there, and the next it is.)</p><p>X</p><p>(She says, “Don’t die, Aki.”</p><p>And yet only gunpowder he knows how to bleed nowadays.)</p>
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